Home
Home

Kids First CouncilPrevent Child Abuse Logo

Care Line: 1-800-CHILDREN (1-800-244-5373)

Kid Tips

Tips for Setting Limits without Hitting or Yelling
Tips for Dealing with Seventh Grade Girl Syndrome
Tips for Internet Use
Tips for Toilet Training
Tips for Eating Out
Assertiveness for Teens
Tips for Setting Limits without Hitting or Yelling

Please, Please . . . Pretty Please!
Chances are you've heard those words before. Parenting is a tough job. By listening and responding to your children's words, you can have a powerful impact on their development.
The Kids First Council believes we all want to use the best means possible to raise our children. With a few skills and tips, we can build stronger families.
  • Expect to see good behavior and praise children when they are doing things right.
  • Work together to develop family rules and post them where everybody can see them.
  • When your children do not follow the family rules, try these ideas:
    • Ignore attention-seeking behavior unless your child might get hurt.
    • Tell them your disappointed with their behavior, not with them as a person.
    • Have your children sit on a chair in a safe, boring place. Have them sit for the same number of minutes as their age.
    • Hold screaming children firmly but gently on your lap until they quiet down.
    • Do not replace toys when children play too roughly and break them.
    • Move young children away from unsafe environments and toys.
    • Take away watching television, playing outside or talking on the phone.
    • Give choices you can live with such as: "You can set the table, and play outside later; or not set the table, and not play outside later."
      Top
Tips for Dealing with Seventh Grade Girl Syndrome

Nobody Likes Me!
Chances are you've heard those words before. Parenting is a tough job. By listening and responding to your children's words, you can have a powerful impact on their development.
The Kids First Council believes we all want to use the best means possible to raise our children. With a few skills and tips, we can build stronger families.
  • Young adolescent girls often have daily changes in their view of their friends and vice-versa. They are trying on new ways relating. They will be mature and immature at the same time. That is who they are right now.
  • Maintain a positive outlook with young adolescents. They are experiencing great physical, emotional and intellectual growth. They need to know someone is on their side, especially when they feel like their friends just "dumped" them.
  • Help your child remember that learning to live with or without certain friends is part of learning to live in a social world. Figuring out "friendship" problems at this stage of life can help teens cope with friendships later in life.
  • Empathize with feelings teens might have and share your own experiences if they were similar. Most adults remember what it was like to be "left out" or "not invited." Teens need to know that their feelings are normal and that they are not alone.
  • Don't judge. Because early adolescence is a time when teens judge themselves and others harshly, it's important to refrain from judging.
  • Praise individual interests and talents. Encourage volunteer work, creativity and hobbies that build confidence.
  • Set clear limits and identify rules that are negotiable. Sometimes it's easier for teens to say, "My parents won't let me do that," than to say, "I don't want to do that."
  • Watch for signs of depression or problem behaviors. Consult a trusted school counselor or professional about your concerns.
    Top
Tips for Internet Use

Everybody Else Gets to Surf The Net!
Chances are you've heard those words before. Parenting is a tough job. By listening and responding to your children's words, you can have a powerful impact on their development.
The Kids First Council believes we all want to use the best means possible to raise our children. With a few skills and tips, we can build stronger families.
  • Keep the computer in a high-traffic area of the house, such as the living room. You can easily monitor your children's activities without making then feel as if you are watching over their shoulders all the time.
  • Find websites you think your children would enjoy and "bookmark" them. This will help direct your children away from using search engines, where they might find inappropriate sites.
  • Before allowing your children online, discuss safety issues. Talk to them about your concerns and together set up family guidelines for computer use.
  • Set up guidelines about meeting people on the Internet. Talk to your children about what to do if their new Internet friend asks to see them in person, or wants your children to send pictures of themselves.
  • Help your children understand why it's important not to reveal personal information while on the web. Just as you wouldn't tell a stranger on the street where you live, you shouldn't tell someone you just met on the Internet your home address.
  • Let your children know that they can come to you if they are receiving e-mail messages that are making them feel uncomfortable. Tell them that in such an event, they should save the messages for you to read.
  • Investigate software and websites that can help you ensure safety for your children while on the Internet.
  • Spend time with your children talking about their experiences online. Give them a chance to show you what they have learned or things they have liked.
    Top
Tips for Toilet Training

Uh-Oh!
Chances are you've heard those words before. Parenting is a tough job. By listening and responding to your children's words, you can have a powerful impact on their development.
The Kids First Council believes we all want to use the best means possible to raise our children. With a few skills and tips, we can build stronger families.
  • When children are around 24 months old, they may be ready to begin toilet training. Look for signs like waking up from naps dry and showing that they don't like a wet diaper.
  • Avoid using age alone as a way to decide if your child is ready. All children grow at different rates, physically and emotionally.
  • Never nag, punish or shame your child about toilet training. If it is becoming a struggle, back off for a while and let the child decide when it is time.
  • Put a small "potty-chair" next to the toilet and let the child get used to it by sitting on it with clothes on.
  • Let your child sit on a "potty-chair" for as long as they want. Never force a child to sit for long periods of time.
  • Ask grandparents, day care staff and babysitters to use the same ideas you use.
  • Suggest a 'practice' run to the "potty-chair" after naps or 20 minutes after a meal.
    Top
Tips for Eating Out
Parenting is a tough job. By listening and responding to your children's words, you can have a powerful impact on their development.
The Kids First Council believes we all want to use the best means possible to raise our children. With a few skills and tips, we can build stronger families.
  • Bring your own special equipment such as crayons and paper, or small toys.
  • Choose restaurants that are "kid friendly" and order foods that can be prepared quickly.
  • Sit by a window, the outside activity may keep you child occupied while you eat.
  • Stick to familiarity, order small portions of food your child normally eats.
  • Play alphabet soup, draw letters of the alphabet in the bowl. What loving words begin with the letters?
  • Have your child or grandchild draw their favorite food. Display the picture on your fridge.
    Top
Assertiveness for Teens

I Want To Be Me!
An important part of being a teenager is figuring out who you are and what you want out of life. Sometimes it's difficult to be yourself when your friends want you to be like them and do what they do.

Have you ever been in the situation where inside you wanted to do one thing, but because of your friends you did another? In situations like that, it helps to be confident and assertive enough to express your true feelings

Being assertive means:
  • Respecting your right to have your own feelings, decisions and limits.
  • Respecting the right of others to have their own feelings, decisions and limits.
  • Being direct with positive and negative feelings.
  • Responding honestly with others without letting them control you or trying to control them.
Being assertive does come with some risks. Being assertive can change or end a relationship, or it may improve a relationship. No one can predict how your assertive message will be received.

Here are some assertive phrases that work:
  • No thanks. If you want to do it, that's up to you. I'd rather not.
  • I decided before I left the house not to do that tonight.
  • I need to think about that before I make a decision.
  • I promised myself I wouldn't.
  • My answer is 'no.'
  • I am going to do something else instead.
  • I've made up my mind not to.
  • If I do that, I won't be able to ____________ So, no thanks.
  • I don't want to go that far.
  • I'll find another ride home.
  • I want you to stop.
  • I need you to show me some respect.
  • I know you want me to, but I have to do what is right for me.
Take time to think of different situations that you have been in or may be in when you could use these phrases. Say them out loud to see how you feel when you say them. Practice them enough to make yourself comfortable saying them. Being assertive takes practice. Once you know how to be assertive, you'll find it easier to be you!
Top

Prevent Child Abuse Indiana
Prevent Child Abuse America
Prevent Child Abuse Logo

Kids First Council
900 N. Park Street
Seymour, IN 47274
(812) 523-1352


Designed and built by <TR> WebWorks
Thomas E. Rothring -- Webmaster and Graphic Artist
http://tr-webworks.netfirms.com

Updated 07/02/03